Making it a fantasy romance again

October 21, 2011 in Apocalypse World

After dating and mating for awhile, you find the perfect mate and are suddenly immersed in the perfect young adult fantasy romance. It’s heaven for a bit, but then the honeymoon period ends and that adventure romance hits a little bump in the road. How do you improve the relationship and avoid a romantic apocalypse?

Even the most amazing fantasy romance and love stories from Harlequin romance novels hit rough patches. The good news is, it doesn’t mean you have to start your quest to find a mate again. The relationship just needs a little more fantasy romance in the form of fun and spontaneity. Dating and mating successfully is a work-in-progress. Eden Newman forwarded this awesome question and asked us to share some tips for keeping your adventure romance intact so you don’t have to start browsing online dating profiles again.

Be present
With all that we have going on in our lives, coupled with the population’s addiction to technology that keeps us constantly connected, it can be difficult to be present in the moment. Take time every day, with some extended blocks of time during nights and weekends, to disconnect from everything else and give your young adult romance a little quality time. Block out some time that is just for your relationship and nothing else—turn off all your phones, computers, iPads, etc. and just listen to your partner and really connect. Your perfect mate needs to know you are really there and present for them, and they will be able to tell the difference when you’re multitasking, even if it’s subconsciously.

Laugh
Laughter is key to keeping that young adult fantasy romance alive and healthy. Do something together that makes you laugh, whether it’s going to a funny movie or something silly like playing video games at the arcade—just anything that you both think is hilarious.

Get out of your comfort zone
Another way to boost your fantasy romance is to do things that gets you both out of your comfort zone. When you find a mate, it’s easy to fall into a routine that may lead to a rut. Consciously plan to do things you’ve both never done, whether as daring as skydiving or bungee jumping to simply trying a new type of food. On the Save the Pearls website, your profile asks for the top five things on your bucket list, and those items actually improve the appeal of many online dating profiles.  Tackle items like that if you’re feeling ambitious! Either way, trying something new or daring makes you grow individually and is bonding. Even the characters in harlequin romance novels are usually forced to get out of their comfort zone, and the result is usually an unforgettable young adult romance.

Dedicate time for dates
Make sure you have time that is sacred and uninterruptable for your relationship. Schedule date nights and leave your phone in the car during dinner. Set aside a few time periods per week that you won’t sacrifice for anything else. Even Eden Newman has to put aside her campaign to save the pearls so she can cultivate her young adult fantasy relationship.

Focus on the good

The best way to avoid a romantic apocalypse is to focus on its polar opposite: the good in life. Take time remember and appreciate what you love about your partner—and let them know exactly what you’re thinking. Focus on what is really making you happy in your life and talk about it and try to manifest more of it. For example, if your relationship is troubled by the type of issues that often accompany interracial relationships, instead of dwelling on those aspects, focus on what you both have in common and enjoy. When Eden was navigating her own interracial dating experience, she focused only on what attracted her to her partner, not what the rest of her world was thinking. No matter what, don’t blame your partner for the imperfections in your life and relationship.

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