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Bath salts—zombie catalyst or fictional scapegoat?

June 29, 2012 in Apocalypse World, Urban Fantasy

Source: storiesbywilliams.files.wordpress.com

The Miami zombie attack last month incited hysteria across the nation. It was like a scene out of one of the most graphic horror films or post apocalyptic books when causeway attacker Rudy Eugene chewed the face off of a homeless man. It took the police six gunshots to kill Eugene and out an end to the gruesome18-minute attack.

The bizarre details of the ghoulish assault prompted speculation that Eugene was under the influence of “bath salts,” which have prompted other psychotic attacks and incidents nationwide. The attacker stripped off his clothes and commenced the attack in plain view on a sidewalk. When a policeman arrived and told him to stop, the unfazed attacked continued to chew chunks off the victim’s face. He was like a villain in paranormal romance books, semi-impervious to bullets and immune to rhyme or reason.

All around the country, rumors flew and the internet was abuzz with rumblings of an imminent apocalypse. Many hypothesized that bath salts, which are touted as the “new LSD,” could bring about a modern day plague, creating human zombies boasting superhuman strength. Clearly, this man-made, synthetic substance turns abusers into violent, raving maniacs with a propensity to get naked.

Yet medical examiner reports released this week indicated that Eugene had only pot in his system. Tests for a number of street drugs, including bath salts, oxycodone, cocaine, heroin, PCP and amphetamines, were conducted, but they all came up negative. Marijuana has typically been known to be a “peaceful” drug, if you can even call a plant a drug, so what could have sparked this gory assault?

The mysterious toxicology findings are increasing speculation that the zombie apocalypse is coming. The attacker possessed inhuman characteristics, branding him and others like him as dangerous as the omnipotent vampires in paranormal romance books, the evil shape shifters in werewolf movies and the zombies in post apocalyptic books and films.

If hard drugs were not the cause of this brutal assault, then what could have happened? Now that bath salts are ruled out, people can only guess what could have caused such maniacal behavior. And how could he continue the attack after being shot several times?

Eugene’s girlfriend is convinced that his actions were the result of some supernatural affliction. She said he rummaged through closets and acted odd before leaving their apartment holding his Bible. Later that day, he was reportedly seen walking down the road naked and hanging off light posts. His torn Bible pages were found strewn along the causeway. While this type of behavior may be normal in urban fantasy books or psychedelic films, it’s unacceptable and frightening in the real world.

Hopefully, there will be no more similar incidents pointing to the imminence of an apocalypse. This may have been a one-off situation to which we’ll never know the cause. At the very least, it’s opened our eyes to the possibilities we never wanted to look at, let alone face.

Why I love Molotov cocktails

May 3, 2012 in Apocalypse World

Source: Iimages.wikia.com/criminalminds

As your resident zombie expert, I’ve gained a lot of knowledge about annihilating the undead. Everyone has their preferred methods, whether it’s with a shotgun, AK-47, grenade, liquid nitrogen or my personal favorite, the machete. While it’s all good to shoot ‘em up in sci-fi films or fantasy and adventure books, you’re going to have to make the most of what you’re working with in a post apocalypse world—and that means save the ammo and don’t get close enough to a zombie to wave your machete in their face.

To fully prepare ourselves for zombies, we’re going to have look further than post apocalyptic books and movies. We’ll need to get in the best physical shape possible, learn important skills like hand-to-hand combat, gun safety and machete wielding, and develop our resourcefulness. Since we have no idea how much ammunition we’ll need once the apocalypse hits, we’ve got to develop methods for zombie killing that require the least amount of supplies. I therefore propose the perfect weapon for obliterating undesirables—The MOLOTOV COCKTAIL.

The Molotov Cocktail, aka the petrol bomb, is the perfect way to get incendiary on some zombie a$%. It’s like a poor man’s grenade—they’re cheap, effective and anyone can make them. I’m not sure why they’re not featured more prominently in post apocalyptic books and films, because they actually provide stunning visual imagery. Just imagine yourself running from a horde of flesh-eating creatures that are lusting after your brains—and with a few quick moves, you’ve set the entire group ablaze. It’s like the perfect opening for a series of urban fantasy books. Ahh… bliss.

This simple, handheld device is made from a glass bottle filled with a flammable liquid like gasoline, kerosene, alcohol or any other napalm-like mixture. A makeshift wick is formed from a fuel soaked rag that’s held in place by the bottle’s stopper. When it’s time for deployment, the wick is ignited and flung at the target. When the bottle smashes, the flammable substance ignites and becomes a raging fireball. In urban fantasy books and movies, we see Molotov Cocktails takes out entire mobs, but in a real post apocalypse world, it’s best to not count your zombie killings until you see them burn.

I’ve read in a few fantasy and adventure books that other flammable liquids can be used, such as wood alcohol or turpentine mixed with a thickening agent like tar, sugar, blood, laundry detergent or dish soap to create a cloud of thick smoke. It’s probably best to stick to the time-tested formulas above, but in case of emergency those are some viable options to try.

To kill or not to kill—what if the one you love became a zombie?

March 14, 2012 in Apocalypse World

Last night’s brilliant episode of my favorite apocalypse world series, The Walking Dead, really got me thinking. In it, the main character had to shoot the best friend he’d been through thick and thin with in order to survive. While his besty wasn’t yet a zombie, he soon became one and had to be killed twice. This made me start to fantasize, and obviously not in a good way, about what I would do if one of my loved ones actually became a zombie.

If I became a zombie in some apocalypse world scenario, I would definitely want to be off-ed. Becoming a mindless shell wandering the streets, lusting after brains and uttering unintelligible gibberish does not sound very appealing to me—it sounds like straight suffering. While it may be a beautiful thing in a science fiction and fantasy film, it’s just a little too primal for me.

No matter how much you would miss someone, you wouldn’t want them to suffer either. That being said, it would probably be really difficult to have to end a fantasy romance by killing your mate with a shot through the head. You would have to be completely detached from this lackluster, undead version of your former love or best friend. It would be a moment you would definitely remember for the rest of your life.

The most important thing you’d have to keep in mind is that this zombie is no longer a human being, and therefore, not your friend. Unlike some of the best zombie or demon characters in our favorite horror, science fiction and fantasy flicks, these are shells of the people they once were. Once you fully comprehend this, a plan would need to be made and executed, no pun intended.

If we do actually wake up in an apocalypse world populated with brain-craving zombies, or if the Uni-Gov somehow turns all of us Pearls into the undead if we don’t mate by 18, then it seems like the solution is pretty straightforward. You would start by creating the quickest, most efficient way to eradicate the zombie—there is definitely no room for mistakes here. The last thing you want to do is prolong your loved ones’ suffering. From everything I’ve read in young adult books and seen in fantasy and adventure films, the most efficient method seems to be a gunshot through the head. Quick, simple, effective—the perfect combination.

If I actually woke up to Jamal the zombie, I would obviously be devastated. It would not only be the end to my fantasy romance, but my chances for survival would be cut in half at best. Yet I would cast that anxiety aside and do what I needed to do. That stands for everyone else in my life too. They would probably be after my brains anyway, so it would become a matter of my own survival.

Let it be known—if we wake up in an apocalypse world and I’ve become a brainless gut-muncher, you have my permission to kill me.

Source: i.zdnet.com

Adventure romance on a new level—how to date a zombie

February 8, 2012 in Adventure romance tips, Apocalypse World

If you believe that life is one big series of science fiction and fantasy novels, you’re probably very busy preparing for that zombie onslaught we’ve been promised. The thing is, many of us may survive this apocalypse world scenario, so we need to figure out how to cohabitate with the undead and otherworldly. In fact, we may even have to find ways to date zombies—doesn’t that sound like the adventure romance of a lifetime?

Let’s say we’re absolutely immersed in an apocalypse world. Your chance of finding a mate has now dwindled to slimness of anorexic proportions. The odds of becoming the prince or princess of Siberia are probably better than finding a mate, especially if you’re a Pearl. Plus, with dwindling to limited resources, it will be more difficult to look your best and attract anyone at all. If you weren’t forced to find a mate, it probably wouldn’t even register in your thought process. Yet things are different for us—even in the most dire circumstances, the Pearls will still be required to mate, and if we don’t, our population will cease to exist.

While it may sound a bit like settling, you’re going to have to open your mind to the few options you have left. Forget about that list or dream board you created after watching The Secret, because the days of finding a “soul mate” or long gone. It’s time to get real and think about how to attract and have a successful adventure romance with that sexy clump of flesh that has only one thing on its mind—eating brains.

The first step is to wrap your mind around the idea and start thinking positive. You’ve got to make the most of what you have, so what better time than now? Forget about how unattractive all science fiction and fantasy novels and films make zombies appear—you never know what great attributes your dream zombie may have. If he or she died an easy death, then the exterior damage may be rather minimal and their pale bloodless skin may be easy to get used to.

Zombies actually may be perfect candidates for an adventure romance. They have some attributes that are actually quite… attractive. They’re steady, reliable, and always present in the moment. Plus, you’ll always know what’s on their mind—eating other’s brains!

Source: Gallerynucleus.com

by eden

What is a romantic apocalypse?

January 14, 2012 in Eden's Posts

Everyone keeps asking what exactly a romantic apocalypse is, so I figured I should try to explain it for the sSave the Pearls community. I receive messages from so many people trying to guess what it is—some of the funniest include “The world ends because all of the fantasy and adventure is wiped from the face of the planet,” or “When civilization ends abruptly due to the lack of romance throughout,” and my absolutely favorite, “When a jilted lover uses his suffering to fuel a Columbine-style attack on all the major hot spots of the world.” I think these people are reading too many young adult books, because those theories couldn’t be any less realistic.

A romantic apocalypse actually defines the movement that the Coals have secretly launched against us. It’s their quest to eradicate all that is left of the Pearls, extinguishing any chance of our survival or return to happier socioeconomic times. It’s their pledge that if all Pearls don’t find a mate, they will be eliminated from society. It’s obviously an underground movement, just like the Save the Pearls campaign is a stealth community.

In most young adult books, there are the villains who threaten the main characters. In some stories, they are obviously evil and often decked with supernatural powers, while in others they are simply the bane of the protagonist’s existence—whether they stand in the way of a fantasy romance or provide some other obstacle to achieving their dreams. In our world, they are the Coals and the FFP, both trying to use their power in ways that defy humanity and decency.

While that may not be an answer that will satisfy fans of fantasy and adventure, it’s the one that counts. We have to be realistic and fully comprehend what we’re dealing with here. Pearls continue to disappear every day, never to be found—all in that same age range: 18 for females and 24 for males. Some are reported, while others are not. Each being that goes missing either refused to find a mate or just had zero luck in the fantasy romance department. Once they reach their “deadline,” it’s only a matter of time before they come. No one has ever escaped to tell the story of exactly who “they” are and what actually happens, but we know it’s no bueno.

Whether a romantic apocalypse is a bloody massacre or a stealth attack that the victim doesn’t see coming, it’s not good and definitely not fun. I wish all other Pearls good luck in mating so they can avoid this dark cloud that infinitely hangs over our heads. In the meantime, I’ll continue to try my hardest to make our cause the thing that stops this horrible movement.

Source: layoutsparks.com

by eden

PEARL-y whites in an Apocalypse World

December 13, 2011 in Eden's Posts

I feel like I’m on a roll with my girl’s guide to the apocalypse, lol. So this week, let’s think about what to do about our pearly whites when we find ourselves in the midst of an apocalypse world—seeing as they’re pretty important. I mean, I don’t think we’ll have blenders and smoothies at our disposal, so we probably want to keep as many as we can.

In science fiction and fantasy books, we never see anyone caring for their choppers, so I’m winging this one—with a little help from my dentist. First off, he always tells me, “Only floss the teeth you want to keep.” Soooo, load up on the floss! I’m talking stockpile. The containers are so small, it shouldn’t be too difficult to have floss on hand at all times.

If you’re trying to find or cultivate an adventure romance, you’ll definitely want to prioritize toothbrushes and toothpaste in your survival kit. Yet that stuff can only last so long, so my dentist gave me a few ideas for when we run out. I’ll warn you, his ideas are not pretty and actually make me think romantic apocalypse, but here goes… while swilling your saliva around and licking your teeth can help prevent tartar build-up, you need something much more abrasive. A powdered pumice stone can be helpful, and plant sap is a great, albeit not as refreshing, substitute for toothpaste.

A reusable piece of fine string can be a great for flossing. The most important thing is to remove food particles from your teeth after eating to reduce bacteria. Be gentle—this is an area where you may want to dedicate a little time, so you don’t damage whatever teeth you do have left. Kissing someone with a virtual meal left in their mouth sounds like a direct path to a romantic apocalypse to me.

In all the science fiction and fantasy films I’ve watched, everyone looks perfect. Clearly, there are no standard guidelines for this, so send me any ideas you have! For now, it’s probably best to get your teeth professionally cleaned as often as recommended and get your dentist check-ups in. The better we take care of our teeth now, the better our chance of keeping some of them later—and the more teeth we have later, the greater our chances for maintaining an adventure romance. Wow, this does not sound fun!!

Source: Home-air-purifier-expert.com

by eden

Creating the perfect adventure romance

December 10, 2011 in Apocalypse World

We’ve received a lot of emails lately with members asking how to turn their stale relationship into the adventure romance of their dreams. This is a great question—we turned to some of our dating and mating experts to see what tips they had for creating the kind of relationship that will sustain a lifetime in an apocalypse world.

First off, all men crave adventure, so it’s important for women to make them feel like they don’t have to give up their adventurous side when they settle down. In fact, you want to inspire and encourage your mate to do adventurous things, with and without you. If you can add elements of fantasy and adventure into the relationship, neither one of you will get bored.

This doesn’t mean you have to climb Mount Everest and run marathons—though that could be cool—it’s about being willing to get out of your comfort zone. It can be as simple as trying exotic foods, going on road trips, getting couples massages or taking a surprise vacation. Think about when you read about romance in young adult books—the protagonist’s life always is an adventure, and they usually end up with the one they want, don’t they?

Just being open to new experiences is sexy and shows that you’re confident and fearless. That alone is enough to spice up a relationship with all the fantasy and adventure you need. It may have to be when we find ourselves in an apocalypse world, as we won’t have access to luxuries like vacations or massages. By becoming adventurous now, you’ll have the tools you need to stir the pot with some adventure when your resources are more limited.

Even if you’re single at the moment, start upping your adventurous ante now, so that when you find a mate, he’ll see that side of you and be ready to cross mountains and rivers to be with you. Observe friends who are in satisfying relationships, read young adult books to see what the protagonists do, and stretch the boundaries of your comfort zone every chance you get.

 

Source: Yolopt.com

 

by eden

Girl’s Survival Guide for the Apocalypse World

November 29, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Let’s face it—there are so many solutions we’ve gotta come up with like right away. We’re going to have to adapt to an apocalypse world in many more ways than guys do. And if you’re lucky enough to find a mate, it’s going to be even tougher. Trying to keep the fantasy romance alive in your relationship will be tough, if not impossible. Sounds like we’ve got some serious brainstorming to do at our next Save the Pearls meeting.

Obviously, we’re weaker and smaller than most dudes. On top of that, we’re high maintenance—we’ve got a lot more physical issues to learn to live with. For starters, what about body hair? While guys welcome a vacation from shaving and sometimes even look hot with a beard, girls don’t get too psyched about having hairy legs and armpits—except for the hippie chicks anyway. Thought I’m starting to think “hippies” are just fictional characters from science fiction and fantasy novels.

Source: Cryptomundo.com

There are rumors that laser hair removal can permanently remove hair—that sounds perfect for protecting the shelf life of your fantasy romance. I’ve also heard that intense pulsed light (IPL) is cheap and fast, but not as effective as laser. You could always get one of those old school epilator things now, as they’ll be very hard to find in an apocalypse world. Plus, you won’t really be able to use it much, as there’ll be way more important use for your batteries.

A Save the Pearls member is selling these tiny pairs of scissors that you trim away the heaviest areas of hair. This might do the job to keep the fantasy and adventure alive in your relationship.

Ultimately, it would be rad if guys would just learn to love us for who we are, oblivious to our hairiness. I mean, look how hair they are.

Surviving a romantic apocalypse

November 16, 2011 in Apocalypse World

We’ve all been there—one day, you’re happy and the next, you’re immersed in a full-fledged romantic apocalypse. It seems like your world is ending, and you just know that you’ll never get over it. Relax—there are ways you can heal your heart and start thinking about an adventure romance again, even when you’re living in a post apocalypse world.

Don’t jump back in.
Give yourself some time to heal, without dating or having sex. Read some young adult fantasy books, clean out your closets, do spa nights at home and just take care of yourself.

Work it out.
Hit the gym, go for walks, do yoga and take up a new form of exercise. This gives you time to clear your head and get your endorphins going, while relieving some of the stress that accompanies a broken heart. Plus, regular workouts will get you looking hot for your next and keep you prepared for obstacles in this post apocalypse world.

 

Source: io9.com


Write it out.
Spend some time every morning writing your thoughts down in a journal. Who knows—maybe your stories could become a best-selling series of young adult fantasy books!

Rest up.
Sleep and exercise can help you avoid depression. Make sure to get in a solid eight hours. Taking care of yourself physically will help your emotions heal faster, and you need to be well-rested so you can defend yourself in this apocalypse world.

Evolve
This is the perfect time to assess your role in the breakup and what your patterns may be. A broken heart can inspire change and lead you towards your next young adult fantasy romance.

Eat well.
Don’t fall into emotional eating—avoid comfort food and overeating, and stock your refrigerator with fresh, healthy foods. Keep in mind that cooking can be therapeutic—and it’s an impressive skill to flaunt when you’re trying to find a mate for a young adult fantasy romance.

Don’t be hard on yourself.
Give yourself credit for what you did well in your relationship and learn from its demise. It’s your turn to grow, just like the protagonists in all of our favorite young adult fantasy books.

If you want some tips for keeping your fantasy romance alive, click here.

by eden

Young adult fantasy romance books can bring the truth

November 3, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Things are looking up. My book is done and 500 copies have been printed. I’m bringing them to Comikaze, which I am so excited about, and am going to sell them there. I wonder who will dare to buy it? I tell the story of my young adult fantasy romance and share how a romantic apocalypse changed everything for me. While I thought I found the perfect mate, guess what—things just aren’t always as they seem. I’ve taken my head out of the cloud of young adult fantasy it’s been immersed in, and now I’m telling it like it is. The truth is here—overcome your fear and read it now! You can order itright here on this site… can’t wait to hear what you think!

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