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Cleaning the slate for an adventure romance

January 4, 2012 in Eden's Posts

It’s a new year and we’re all still here. Some of us Pearls have found that adventure romance, while others struggle to find a mate—especially the girls who are about to turn 18. Yeah, that’s me. Even though I’m secretly dating a Coal (okay, maybe not so secretly, since all of you know), who made me believe in love again at first. Now it feels like I’m back where I started, worried about meeting my doomed fate: a romantic apocalypse. I’m having issues with trusting him and am wondering about the way he acts.

What my super wise Ethics Officer told me to do is make sure that I’m seeing Jamal for who he is, not what I want him to be. She says I think I’m the heroine in one of my fantasy and adventure books, with some supernatural ability to see the future, and that I’m mistaking who he really is with his potential. So what do I do from here? How do I clean the slate and see him for who he is, since from what I hear, boys just do not change—especially a Coal? If I don’t fix the way I’m feeling, it will surely be the end of our adventure romance.

Maybe I should just sage my room and chant to get rid of my evil thoughts. Or I could do a voodoo spell on him that will make him put our adventure romance on top of his list of priorities. There has to be some way to remove the last few weeks from my mind, all the times I’ve caught him flirting with my skanky coworker Ashina. I wouldn’t care if she wasn’t a Coal too. He says that doesn’t matter to him, but at the same time, he seems really into his image. Can I trust that he’ll really be okay with mating a lowly Pearl when he can live out all the fantasy and adventure he’s ever wanted with someone of his own kind?

If I want to make this work and avoid the romantic apocalypse that’s looming over me, then I’ve got to get rid of this energy. I’ve got to purge it, be open to who he really is and stop trying to put enough Midnight Luster on to coat an entire schoolroom. Any suggestions?

Source: Hackadelic.com

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by eden

Fantasy romance… should this be my solstice goal?

December 24, 2011 in Apocalypse World

I’m blown away by all the responses to my last post about the solstice. I had so many emails asking whether my goal is to find a new fantasy romance or work out the one I have with Jamal. Lol, what about the more important things, like my campaign to save the pearls?

Clearly, this campaign and helping my father succeed with his experiment are my ultimate goals.  Yet I’m also focused on saving myself from a romantic apocalypse. Who wouldn’t be? And it looks like the only way to do so is to keep things going with Jamal and hope that he finally commits or once again get back in the game, trying to find a mate—which sounds so gross!

I’ve been trying to maintain our fantasy romance, but honestly, it’s getting tougher by the day. He’s got the upper hand, since he’s a coal and all. I feel like the whole honeymoon period must be wearing off—before, all I could think about was him and I had no issues with him whatsoever. I was blind to his flaws and just wanted to make him happy. Now I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with some of the things I see him doing and my trust is fading.

At first, every time we saw each other, there was an overwhelming feeling of fantasy romance—it was almost tangible. The spark and chemistry that made me feel so alive—the kind of thing you read about in young adult books. Yet I’m starting to realize that you can’t force those feelings. If they fade, you’ve got to accept it—or maybe they were never really there in the first place. After all, I’m a pearl and he’s a coal. Could we really ever have a future?

So in answer to everyone’s question—my priority is still the save the pearls campaign.  If, at the same time, I can save myself from a romantic apocalypse, then that’s pure awesomeness.

The only other goal I set this solstice is to continue to get my story out there—I’ve got to get the rest out there before it’s too late. Whether it’s disguised as fodder for young adult books or accepted as a memoir doesn’t matter to me. The pearls know the truth, and the more people who get exposed to it, the greater our chance of survival.

 

Source: StJohnweddings.com

 

 

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by eden

Will the Winter Solstice bring me fantasy and adventure?

December 22, 2011 in Eden's Posts

I’m excited about the winter solstice. While to some, it’s just the shortest day and longest night of the year, or the first day of winter, for me it’s a time to reflect on the past year and make my goals for 2012. It’s a time to make wishes and lay out a plan to bring them to reality. While my obvious goal is to save the pearls, I also want the next year to bring me all the fantasy and adventure possible—for as long as I’m still here anyway.

The days getting longer represents a message of hope—before long, the end of the cold, darkest season will be here. Instead of thinking about the impending romantic apocalypse, you can start hoping and planning for dreams to come true. It’s a time to hibernate, but not in a depressive way—instead, it’s a time to go inward and reflect.

The darkness comes and it goes—over the next few days, I’m going to think about everything that I really want and see how I can make it all happen. While my obvious priority is to save the pearls, there are other things I am dreaming of—but it would all be turned upside down if we find ourselves in an apocalypse world. In the next few days, I am going to state my goals, rest and re-energize myself for the coming months and year. I’m going to follow pagan footsteps and meditate on how I will bring fantasy and adventure into my life in a good way. While my overall theme is to avoid a romantic apocalypse, I am going to reach even higher. What will you wish for this solstice?

If you’re wishing for love and are wondering if it really exists, check out this blog post on fantasy romance.

Source: Earthrites.org

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by eden

Beauty tips for an Apocalypse World Part 1—Hair and Nails

December 9, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So many people wrote me about my wardrobe tips for an apocalypse world that I felt compelled to create a guide filled with beauty tips. I mean, we can’t just let ourselves go in the midst of dystopia—if we do, we’re sure to lose any chance of a fantasy romance. I mean, dudes out there are searching for the perfect girl, not the perfect Chewbacca! Speaking of hairy creatures, I know a lot of you are wondering, whatever will we do with our crowning glory?

We all know that when our hair looks good, we feel good. Our mane has the power to inspire fantasy and adventure and unlock our self-confidence from the depths of wherever. The products and styling time that go into it our locks are greater than any other part of getting ready, even for those with short hair. In the apocalypse world, we’ll have little time and not be able to waste any power on luxuries like a blow dryer or flatiron—a complete travesty for those who are still trying to find a mate. If you’re not down to chop it all off, I suggest getting a stockpile of baby powder to double as dry shampoo and as deodorizer for your body.

I understand that even though we’ll be in the midst of catastrophe, you still may be trying to cultivate a fantasy romance and find a mate. Even so, you may really want to consider cutting longer locks into a bob. The tangles will be narly, bugs may take up residence and it will just be a lot cleaner. If that’s not an option (I get it, no romantic apocalypse will make me cut mine!) then you’ll want lots of ponytail holders so that you can braid it and get it out of your face.

Nails… I hate to break it to you, but you’ll have to cut those babies all the way down. You’ll need a pair of clipper and a nail file and that’s it. It’s not even remotely realistic to think that we’ll be able to have pretty nails. Well-kempt is the best we can hope for. Think about all the fantasy and adventure books you’ve read so far—do you remember any of the protagonists talk about being able to shower and wash their hair? Right, I didn’t think so.

Source: Blog.urbanoutfitters.com

Why do we fall out of love??

September 13, 2011 in Apocalypse World

You’re head over heels—you found that fantasy romance you always dreamt of. After months of browsing online dating profiles, you thought you found the one, the perfect mate you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It was as if your life was the plot of one of the best Harlequin romance novels. Then all of a sudden, it was over. What happened?

Bottom line: love doesn’t always last. Despite your best efforts to keep the adventure romance going, it may just not be meant to be. The question is, can you do anything to stop love from ending? We asked some experts why the young adult fantasy ends and how we fall out of love.

Fear. Often times, we’re in a relationship with who we think is the perfect mate—and then we cause our own romantic apocalypse. When intimacy gets too scary, we may unconsciously push an open, loving, emotionally available partner away by diminishing their worth in our own heads and to them. This happens when we know deep inside that we’re very vulnerable with this person and our defense mechanisms kick in to sabotage it. If you find yourself killing the young adult romance before it’s had the chance to grow, be aware. If you have to, talk to a therapist or counselor. When you find a mate, be open with your feelings and when this feeling comes up, share with them how you are trying to deal with this fear. Don’t go creating a bunch of new online dating profiles either. Try to work through this issue now instead, because it will just keep rearing its ugly head.

Lack of communication. Regular communication is essential to having that amazing relationship that has all the makings of Harlequin romance novels. When you’re dating and mating, you must discuss your issues and be able to voice your complaints in a productive way. The earlier the better—it’s becomes more difficult to face issues later on. We’re not talking about fighting or playing the blame game—it’s about keeping your adventure romance on track by letting your partner know when you’re upset or which behaviors annoy you.

When we’re trying to find a mate, we tend to pit our on our best front. Once you’re immersed in that young adult fantasy romance, you may let your guard down and show new sides of yourself that surprise your partner. This is why it’s always best to be yourself from the get go, and that includes being honest about your likes and dislikes. Forget about being “right” all the time—focus instead on keeping the fantasy romance alive, being thoughtful and careful about how you behave towards each other and communicating effectively and sympathetically.

Change. Eden Newman shared a story with us about how one of the potential mates in one of her interracial relationships seemed like the perfect match for dating and mating. Then, after many months, he shared with her that while he was okay with interracial dating, he was not okay with having children with her.

Over time, people can change—or more often, they become who they really are. In addition, they can change their mind based on their experience in their young adult romance or long-term relationship, especially when it comes to interracial relationships. The man that Eden Newman was dating may have just decided that it wasn’t for him, after realizing the problems they encountered dating in a world where she was working on the save the pearls campaign and he was not behind it. They came from two different worlds and he simply decided that this young adult fantasy romance wasn’t for him. Thus began Eden’s personal romantic apocalypse.

People may decide they no longer love their career. They may want to throw away that amazing medical career to become an artist. People evolve and their circumstances change and that may ultimately affect their relationship. The most important thing is to know the difference between your young adult fantasy and who your partner really is at their core. Whether you’re interracial dating, in a homosexual relationship or there is a sizeable age difference, the parties involved are always going to be susceptible to change. Life is about changing and growing.

So keep working on your mate-rate, educate yourself about successful relationships, and learn to be open to all of the elements of love. Most importantly, be aware that not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes they will transcend to beautiful, lifelong friendships. Either way, seize the day, enjoy the journey… and help us save the pearls!

Improving Your Mate-Rate

September 9, 2011 in Apocalypse World

I love it when people try to tell you that attractiveness doesn’t matter when you’re trying to find a mate. Perhaps that’s true in the world of Harlequin romance novels, but not in a world where you need to save the pearls, lol. When you’re dating and mating, or at least trying to, one of the most essential elements of finding the perfect mate is your level of attractiveness, or mate-rate, as we like to call it.

Unfortunately, looks matter, and with technological advances and the media savvy world we live in, image has become increasingly important. From our wardrobe and looks to our level of fitness, charisma and ability to hold a conversation, we’re always being noticed or judged—especially when others are browsing our online dating profiles. It’s as if a romantic apocalypse is upon us and if we don’t project ourselves in the most positive light possible, we’ll never manifest the young adult fantasy romance we’ve been dreaming of.

While perfection is elusive, the basis of attracting the perfect mate begins with physical attraction. Most of us are not just looking to become friends with someone—we’re looking for the butterflies, the young adult fantasy that takes us by storm and makes us forget anyone else ever existed. Respect and friendship are important components of relationships, but there has to be a strong attraction and some bit of chemistry for a fantasy romance to occur.

One of the best ways to improve your mate-rate and obtain that adventure romance is to improve your looks. This means getting in the best physical shape of your life—working out regularly and always striving to take your fitness to the next level. This isn’t just key to attracting others when you’re dating and mating—it boost your flow of endorphins so that you’re happier and more confident, and therefore, more attractive. As Eden Newman points out, Pearls have it harder than most others, especially if they’re involved in interracial relationships. So it’s time to get that workout regimen going and get yourself in the best possible shape if you want to find a mate.

In addition to getting your workout on, grooming is another key aspect in obtaining the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams. In young adult fiction and Harlequin romance novels, they describe the heroine’s beauty in the first chapter. Follow suit by finding a stylish yet flattering haircut, getting lessons in skincare and makeup application, and follow the basic tenets of good grooming: manicures, pedicures, monthly facials, waxing, etc. This type of pampering makes you look and feel better. Plus, taking care of yourself makes you happier and more confident, and that much closer to finding your fantasy romance.

If you’re creating online dating profiles, make sure your profile pic is taken when you look your very best and that it reflects your personality. This is especially important when you’re seeking interracial dating prospects, as reflecting your personality in a photo will give the viewer more insight into who you are, when cultural differences may detract during the initial attraction phase. What is key, however, is that you don’t underplay the reality of what you look like in your pictures. Keep it real, but your very best real.

Make up for where you’re lacking in the physical department with personality. Many people find comedians very attractive due to their stage presence and personality. I’m not saying to prep your own stand-up routine or repertoire of jokes, but if you want to find that young adult romance, you’ve got to use your personality and highlight your best assets. Most importantly, identify your passions and pursue them—it will show your depth, you’ll be happier because you’re pursuing them, and it will translate into… you guessed it, attractiveness!

If you’re looking for an interracial romance, show your daredevil, thrill-seeking side. If you’re a bookworm who likes to bury your nose in the latest young adult romance books or graphic novels, be honest about that. This will help you attract someone with the same interests, which can lead to a successful, compatible relationship. If you’re interested in pursuing interracial relationships, then be upfront about that and honest about what you bring to the table. If you love to champion causes like homelessness, cancer prevention or the Save the Pearls campaign, share all your passions with your potential partner.

If you want advice or have questions about interracial dating, avoiding the romantic apocalypse or you just want to learn more about Eden Newman, send us an email at info@savethepearls.com! We look forward to hearing from you!

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by eden

Back on my game

September 8, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So I was feeling down for a little bit after hearing about the latest Pearl disappearance (still haven’t heard anything new, by the way), which led me to beating myself up a little bit. I lost track of the Save the Pearls campaign because I had butterflies ion my stomach because I thought I found the perfect mate. It seemed like my own fantasy romance was about to unfold, and since we have no other choice as Pearls than to find a mate, I got a little focused on my own plight. Plus, it’s fun. I want the whole love story, the ones they write about in Harlequin romance novels and young adult romance books. (Okay, so I read Harlequin romance novels when I was younger, that’s all I could find on the bookshelf my mom left behind!) Anyway, I’m back on my game. I can’t help but check out all the new online dating profiles (Hello, Charmer171 and Thai!! And that’s just for starters) because I do need to find the perfect mate so that I can avoid the romantic apocalypse I’m facing. But I am going to do everything I can, I will Save the Pearls! Mark my words!

Know Your Limit

September 6, 2011 in Apocalypse World

An important element of dating is to know when it’s time to move on. Despite all that you’ve read in Harlequin romance novels and young adult fantasy fiction, some relationships are just not meant to work out. When you’re dating and mating, it’s key to identify when to throw in the towel and to be able to tell the difference between young adult fantasy from reality!

Let’s start with the chase—every good adventure romance needs an element of pursuit. When you’re looking for the perfect mate, you want to make sure you’re not calling and contacting the other person more than they’re reaching out to you. Women especially need to be on alert, as men aren’t necessarily going to tell them that they don’t think they are the perfect mate or that they’re no longer interested. Avoid your own personal romantic apocalypse by letting yourself get chased every now and then.

Another red flag to look for in your young adult fantasy romance is making excuses for the other’s behavior. When someone hasn’t called in days, it’s probably not because they got in a car accident, contracted pneumonia or have reached a critical juncture in the Save the Pearls campaign—it’s a sign that they’re just not feeling it anymore. Never make excuses or rationalize bad or indifferent behavior—your perfect mate is not going to make you wonder what they’re doing or how they feel about you. Remember, this is your personal adventure romance, when you’re trying to find a mate you have to embrace risk and be open to change. Don’t block out someone’s bad behavior by focusing on their good qualities. You’re dating and mating for a reason, and if this one doesn’t work out, you need to jump back on the horse and try again. There will be someone else! Start browsing online dating profiles, be open to interracial relationships and know that this one guy is not your romantic apocalypse.

When you’re trying to find a mate, it’s easy to mistake a passionate encounter with love.  Remember, life is not made up of Harlequin romance novels—this is real, and as much as one night may seem like the young adult fantasy romance you’ve been waiting for, it’s not always the case.  Don’t mistake dating for a game of winning someone over—Eden Newman learned this the hard way when she expected a quick encounter in her interracial dating experience as the young adult romance she was dying for it to be. One-sided love cannot transform a purely physical thing into the fantasy romance of a lifetime. Don’t settle for someone who is not certain about you—stand your ground and you will find what you’re looking for.

To browse online dating profiles, learn more about interracial dating and interracial relationships, and follow Eden Newman in her quest to Save the Pearls, visit SavethePearls.com. We’re all hoping she finds the young adult romance that she’s looking for!

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by eden

What if the clock wasn’t ticking??

August 30, 2011 in Eden's Posts

If you haven’t seen the article yet, check out this post:
http://www.thenewworldchronicle.com/2011/08/23/male-pearl-missing-the-search-continues/

I’ve been so focused on finding the perfect mate and getting my own fantasy romance started that
I let my focus on the Save the Pearls campaign slip. Just when I let my mind wander
for a second, there were more disappearances. I hate that I let it slip because
I was focused on my little adventure romance and reading my YA novels. UGH! How
come this always happens? Is it across the board or is just women who do this?
It’s like, you get a little taste of love and forget everything else that’s
going on, the important things. Unfortunately, we’re put in this position where
they make finding the perfect mate is a priority. When it’s life or death, it’s
hard to not think about it all time. I used to scoff at the young adult fantasy
romance
novels I read when I was younger, I never thought I’d be browsing online
dating profiles—I never cared. Yet now, with the idea of a sort of romantic
apocalypse always in the back of my mind, the quest is all-consuming.

If the clock wasn’t ticking, I wouldn’t even be thinking about finding love at all. Or would
I?

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by eden

Be realistic

August 18, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Okay, today, the boy I’ve been vibing made it clear that he’s vibing me back. Our eye contact was insane—it felt like he was seeing right into my mind, like he could read every thought I had. I felt almost… naked. He is so hot! We talked for a few minutes in the hallway, when no one else was around (of course). A coal can’t be seen talking to someone like me… like that. He was just inches away from my face, and I could tell he was feeling it. I’m trying to stay open to others and to just focus on the Save the Pearls campaign and not think I’m the main character in some adventure romance novel (my father always says, “Eden Newman, you’re not the star of some young adult fantasy romance. Be realistic). I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, either—interracial dating and mating is seriously frowned upon. But It’s hard to stay grounded in reality, when I’m certain this guy’s vibing me too. xox Eden Newman

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