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What I learned from paranormal romance books

July 5, 2012 in Paranormal Romance Books

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Like all other girls my age, I had my love affair with paranormal romance books throughout my early teenage years. Vampires held me captivated in every way. I dreamt of finding my own Edward, only he was a Coal, of course.

After the infatuation wore off, I took a break from vampires and wizardry and started reading post apocalyptic books, since they hit a little closer to home. After some time away from the paranormal romance books, I realized that, as silly and fantastical as they might be, there’s also a few things you can learn from them.

My fleeting obsession with vampires taught me that a person’s quirky characteristics reveal a lot about them. A propensity to never come out in

daylight? Red flag number one. A fetish for sleeping in coffins? Red flag number two. A thirst for blood? Definitely strike three!
What I’ve also learned from paranormal romance books is that true love can overcome any obstacles whatsoever—100 year age differences, different religious and educational backgrounds, time and space, among many others. While adventure romance novels (another favorite genre of mine), tend to have extreme obstacles in their story lines as well, paranormal characters can get past what seems like the most insurmountable ones possible.

Another thing I’ve learned from my former hobby: opposites attract. This is another similarity that’s prevalent in adventure romance novels as well, but in paranormal, the differences are even more extreme. Night owls with morning people, meat eaters and vegans, pale faces and tanning addicts—you get the picture.

Who knew there was so much to learn from witches, werewolves and vampires? As I grew up a little, I started to realize that my hobby was a little bit silly, so I started reading classics from the Old World and moving away from books with such incredulous fantasy elements. While I could always relate to Bella in her quest for her love to pan out, I also realized that having a knight in shining armor with such incredible speed, strength and other skills just wasn’t realistic.

Now I like to read post apocalyptic books. They’ve become my new favorite because I feel like there are actually things I can take away from the stories. They still provide me with an escape, but I can really relate to their dsytopian settings and circumstances, and they give me a little glimmer of hope—and that’s why we read, right?

Why do we fall out of love??

September 13, 2011 in Apocalypse World

You’re head over heels—you found that fantasy romance you always dreamt of. After months of browsing online dating profiles, you thought you found the one, the perfect mate you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It was as if your life was the plot of one of the best Harlequin romance novels. Then all of a sudden, it was over. What happened?

Bottom line: love doesn’t always last. Despite your best efforts to keep the adventure romance going, it may just not be meant to be. The question is, can you do anything to stop love from ending? We asked some experts why the young adult fantasy ends and how we fall out of love.

Fear. Often times, we’re in a relationship with who we think is the perfect mate—and then we cause our own romantic apocalypse. When intimacy gets too scary, we may unconsciously push an open, loving, emotionally available partner away by diminishing their worth in our own heads and to them. This happens when we know deep inside that we’re very vulnerable with this person and our defense mechanisms kick in to sabotage it. If you find yourself killing the young adult romance before it’s had the chance to grow, be aware. If you have to, talk to a therapist or counselor. When you find a mate, be open with your feelings and when this feeling comes up, share with them how you are trying to deal with this fear. Don’t go creating a bunch of new online dating profiles either. Try to work through this issue now instead, because it will just keep rearing its ugly head.

Lack of communication. Regular communication is essential to having that amazing relationship that has all the makings of Harlequin romance novels. When you’re dating and mating, you must discuss your issues and be able to voice your complaints in a productive way. The earlier the better—it’s becomes more difficult to face issues later on. We’re not talking about fighting or playing the blame game—it’s about keeping your adventure romance on track by letting your partner know when you’re upset or which behaviors annoy you.

When we’re trying to find a mate, we tend to pit our on our best front. Once you’re immersed in that young adult fantasy romance, you may let your guard down and show new sides of yourself that surprise your partner. This is why it’s always best to be yourself from the get go, and that includes being honest about your likes and dislikes. Forget about being “right” all the time—focus instead on keeping the fantasy romance alive, being thoughtful and careful about how you behave towards each other and communicating effectively and sympathetically.

Change. Eden Newman shared a story with us about how one of the potential mates in one of her interracial relationships seemed like the perfect match for dating and mating. Then, after many months, he shared with her that while he was okay with interracial dating, he was not okay with having children with her.

Over time, people can change—or more often, they become who they really are. In addition, they can change their mind based on their experience in their young adult romance or long-term relationship, especially when it comes to interracial relationships. The man that Eden Newman was dating may have just decided that it wasn’t for him, after realizing the problems they encountered dating in a world where she was working on the save the pearls campaign and he was not behind it. They came from two different worlds and he simply decided that this young adult fantasy romance wasn’t for him. Thus began Eden’s personal romantic apocalypse.

People may decide they no longer love their career. They may want to throw away that amazing medical career to become an artist. People evolve and their circumstances change and that may ultimately affect their relationship. The most important thing is to know the difference between your young adult fantasy and who your partner really is at their core. Whether you’re interracial dating, in a homosexual relationship or there is a sizeable age difference, the parties involved are always going to be susceptible to change. Life is about changing and growing.

So keep working on your mate-rate, educate yourself about successful relationships, and learn to be open to all of the elements of love. Most importantly, be aware that not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes they will transcend to beautiful, lifelong friendships. Either way, seize the day, enjoy the journey… and help us save the pearls!

Improving Your Mate-Rate

September 9, 2011 in Apocalypse World

I love it when people try to tell you that attractiveness doesn’t matter when you’re trying to find a mate. Perhaps that’s true in the world of Harlequin romance novels, but not in a world where you need to save the pearls, lol. When you’re dating and mating, or at least trying to, one of the most essential elements of finding the perfect mate is your level of attractiveness, or mate-rate, as we like to call it.

Unfortunately, looks matter, and with technological advances and the media savvy world we live in, image has become increasingly important. From our wardrobe and looks to our level of fitness, charisma and ability to hold a conversation, we’re always being noticed or judged—especially when others are browsing our online dating profiles. It’s as if a romantic apocalypse is upon us and if we don’t project ourselves in the most positive light possible, we’ll never manifest the young adult fantasy romance we’ve been dreaming of.

While perfection is elusive, the basis of attracting the perfect mate begins with physical attraction. Most of us are not just looking to become friends with someone—we’re looking for the butterflies, the young adult fantasy that takes us by storm and makes us forget anyone else ever existed. Respect and friendship are important components of relationships, but there has to be a strong attraction and some bit of chemistry for a fantasy romance to occur.

One of the best ways to improve your mate-rate and obtain that adventure romance is to improve your looks. This means getting in the best physical shape of your life—working out regularly and always striving to take your fitness to the next level. This isn’t just key to attracting others when you’re dating and mating—it boost your flow of endorphins so that you’re happier and more confident, and therefore, more attractive. As Eden Newman points out, Pearls have it harder than most others, especially if they’re involved in interracial relationships. So it’s time to get that workout regimen going and get yourself in the best possible shape if you want to find a mate.

In addition to getting your workout on, grooming is another key aspect in obtaining the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams. In young adult fiction and Harlequin romance novels, they describe the heroine’s beauty in the first chapter. Follow suit by finding a stylish yet flattering haircut, getting lessons in skincare and makeup application, and follow the basic tenets of good grooming: manicures, pedicures, monthly facials, waxing, etc. This type of pampering makes you look and feel better. Plus, taking care of yourself makes you happier and more confident, and that much closer to finding your fantasy romance.

If you’re creating online dating profiles, make sure your profile pic is taken when you look your very best and that it reflects your personality. This is especially important when you’re seeking interracial dating prospects, as reflecting your personality in a photo will give the viewer more insight into who you are, when cultural differences may detract during the initial attraction phase. What is key, however, is that you don’t underplay the reality of what you look like in your pictures. Keep it real, but your very best real.

Make up for where you’re lacking in the physical department with personality. Many people find comedians very attractive due to their stage presence and personality. I’m not saying to prep your own stand-up routine or repertoire of jokes, but if you want to find that young adult romance, you’ve got to use your personality and highlight your best assets. Most importantly, identify your passions and pursue them—it will show your depth, you’ll be happier because you’re pursuing them, and it will translate into… you guessed it, attractiveness!

If you’re looking for an interracial romance, show your daredevil, thrill-seeking side. If you’re a bookworm who likes to bury your nose in the latest young adult romance books or graphic novels, be honest about that. This will help you attract someone with the same interests, which can lead to a successful, compatible relationship. If you’re interested in pursuing interracial relationships, then be upfront about that and honest about what you bring to the table. If you love to champion causes like homelessness, cancer prevention or the Save the Pearls campaign, share all your passions with your potential partner.

If you want advice or have questions about interracial dating, avoiding the romantic apocalypse or you just want to learn more about Eden Newman, send us an email at info@savethepearls.com! We look forward to hearing from you!

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by eden

Back on my game

September 8, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So I was feeling down for a little bit after hearing about the latest Pearl disappearance (still haven’t heard anything new, by the way), which led me to beating myself up a little bit. I lost track of the Save the Pearls campaign because I had butterflies ion my stomach because I thought I found the perfect mate. It seemed like my own fantasy romance was about to unfold, and since we have no other choice as Pearls than to find a mate, I got a little focused on my own plight. Plus, it’s fun. I want the whole love story, the ones they write about in Harlequin romance novels and young adult romance books. (Okay, so I read Harlequin romance novels when I was younger, that’s all I could find on the bookshelf my mom left behind!) Anyway, I’m back on my game. I can’t help but check out all the new online dating profiles (Hello, Charmer171 and Thai!! And that’s just for starters) because I do need to find the perfect mate so that I can avoid the romantic apocalypse I’m facing. But I am going to do everything I can, I will Save the Pearls! Mark my words!

Know Your Limit

September 6, 2011 in Apocalypse World

An important element of dating is to know when it’s time to move on. Despite all that you’ve read in Harlequin romance novels and young adult fantasy fiction, some relationships are just not meant to work out. When you’re dating and mating, it’s key to identify when to throw in the towel and to be able to tell the difference between young adult fantasy from reality!

Let’s start with the chase—every good adventure romance needs an element of pursuit. When you’re looking for the perfect mate, you want to make sure you’re not calling and contacting the other person more than they’re reaching out to you. Women especially need to be on alert, as men aren’t necessarily going to tell them that they don’t think they are the perfect mate or that they’re no longer interested. Avoid your own personal romantic apocalypse by letting yourself get chased every now and then.

Another red flag to look for in your young adult fantasy romance is making excuses for the other’s behavior. When someone hasn’t called in days, it’s probably not because they got in a car accident, contracted pneumonia or have reached a critical juncture in the Save the Pearls campaign—it’s a sign that they’re just not feeling it anymore. Never make excuses or rationalize bad or indifferent behavior—your perfect mate is not going to make you wonder what they’re doing or how they feel about you. Remember, this is your personal adventure romance, when you’re trying to find a mate you have to embrace risk and be open to change. Don’t block out someone’s bad behavior by focusing on their good qualities. You’re dating and mating for a reason, and if this one doesn’t work out, you need to jump back on the horse and try again. There will be someone else! Start browsing online dating profiles, be open to interracial relationships and know that this one guy is not your romantic apocalypse.

When you’re trying to find a mate, it’s easy to mistake a passionate encounter with love.  Remember, life is not made up of Harlequin romance novels—this is real, and as much as one night may seem like the young adult fantasy romance you’ve been waiting for, it’s not always the case.  Don’t mistake dating for a game of winning someone over—Eden Newman learned this the hard way when she expected a quick encounter in her interracial dating experience as the young adult romance she was dying for it to be. One-sided love cannot transform a purely physical thing into the fantasy romance of a lifetime. Don’t settle for someone who is not certain about you—stand your ground and you will find what you’re looking for.

To browse online dating profiles, learn more about interracial dating and interracial relationships, and follow Eden Newman in her quest to Save the Pearls, visit SavethePearls.com. We’re all hoping she finds the young adult romance that she’s looking for!

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by eden

What if the clock wasn’t ticking??

August 30, 2011 in Eden's Posts

If you haven’t seen the article yet, check out this post:
http://www.thenewworldchronicle.com/2011/08/23/male-pearl-missing-the-search-continues/

I’ve been so focused on finding the perfect mate and getting my own fantasy romance started that
I let my focus on the Save the Pearls campaign slip. Just when I let my mind wander
for a second, there were more disappearances. I hate that I let it slip because
I was focused on my little adventure romance and reading my YA novels. UGH! How
come this always happens? Is it across the board or is just women who do this?
It’s like, you get a little taste of love and forget everything else that’s
going on, the important things. Unfortunately, we’re put in this position where
they make finding the perfect mate is a priority. When it’s life or death, it’s
hard to not think about it all time. I used to scoff at the young adult fantasy
romance
novels I read when I was younger, I never thought I’d be browsing online
dating profiles—I never cared. Yet now, with the idea of a sort of romantic
apocalypse always in the back of my mind, the quest is all-consuming.

If the clock wasn’t ticking, I wouldn’t even be thinking about finding love at all. Or would
I?

Creating Powerful Attraction

August 24, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Trying to find a mate?? Dreaming of adventure romance and the kind of love that Harlequin romance novels are made of? Look no further, because this new blog is a permanent part of the Save the Pearls website and will have all sorts of relationship advice to help you create the young adult romance you’re looking for.

When it comes to dating and mating with the goal of creating a long-lasting relationship, it takes more than just chemistry or good looks. The most integral element at the heart of every great relationship, whether we’re talking about same sex, heterosexual or interracial relationships, is to instill a powerful, enduring attraction—the old school Fred and Ginger type, where you seem so connected and always complement each other yet never step on each other’s feet. The synergistic connection that lets you know you’ve found the perfect mate.

Your perfect young adult fantasy romance is really a dance between two people based on silent signals that either work together to build lasting attraction or foreshadow a romantic apocalypse, aka breakup. Below are some powerful tips for building a deep, long lasting attraction that is the essential building block of your own young adult fantasy romance.

Be passionate about your own life
When you’re looking for the perfect mate, physical attraction is just a bonus, the icing on the cake. More importantly, you need to know what you want for yourself, what you like and what you want to do with your life… and pursue all of it. Your goals and causes will make you feel excited about your life, and as a result, make you more attractive in general, but most importantly, to the right person for you. For example, Eden Newman has dedicated herself to the Save the Pearls cause. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is so attractive because of it and we all know she will find the young adult romance she’s searching for—you know the kind, the ones they write about in young adult romance novels.

Once you immerse yourself in a quest to fulfill your passions, you will organically send signals to the opposite sex and your attractiveness will just grow.

Bring it
One of the most important things you need to do to have your own adventure romance is to bring the fun! Having fun together is a powerful binding tool and an important element in finding a mate—not just any mate, but the one that is right for you. When you do things you both like, it gives you a chance to learn about your compatibility, and when you share each other’s favorite things to do, you get a chance to be creative together, laugh and create memories. If you’re into interracial dating or are attracted from those from other countries and cultures, the chances of learning new, exciting things is great, and you are certain to develop a strong bond when you enjoy sharing new things together.

Whether you like to surf, ride bikes, play golf or go to movies, engaging in any type of fun activities together strengthens attraction and makes it grow more powerful.

Be open

When you’re dating and mating, whether in person or by browsing online dating profiles, you’ve got to learn to open up to the person you like. Sharing how you feel and what you’re looking for is key to the success of your young adult fantasy. This will help you to develop mutual trust and show that you’re comfortable in your own skin. It will also eliminate game-playing and make both individuals feel both safe and excited about spending time together.

Stay tuned to all the killer relationship advice we’ll dispense on this blog every week. We want you all to find the fantasy romance you’re looking for and be able to sustain life-changing, lasting relationships. Browse the online dating profiles at Savethepearls.com to find a mate, learn about interracial relationships and more, and watch Eden Newman manifest her own young adult fantasy and overcome the prospect of a romantic apocalypse. Next week, we will share some tips for successful interracial dating. Good luck!

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by eden

Be realistic

August 18, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Okay, today, the boy I’ve been vibing made it clear that he’s vibing me back. Our eye contact was insane—it felt like he was seeing right into my mind, like he could read every thought I had. I felt almost… naked. He is so hot! We talked for a few minutes in the hallway, when no one else was around (of course). A coal can’t be seen talking to someone like me… like that. He was just inches away from my face, and I could tell he was feeling it. I’m trying to stay open to others and to just focus on the Save the Pearls campaign and not think I’m the main character in some adventure romance novel (my father always says, “Eden Newman, you’re not the star of some young adult fantasy romance. Be realistic). I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, either—interracial dating and mating is seriously frowned upon. But It’s hard to stay grounded in reality, when I’m certain this guy’s vibing me too. xox Eden Newman

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by eden

Reading the signs…

August 17, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Remember I mentioned that I may have met someone? Well, I’m actually getting really excited because I’m pretty sure he likes me too. He’s gone out of his way to pass by my desk, and we’ve caught eyes several times. In fact, I caught him looking at me, or watching me, actually, from across the room earlier today. I can’t stop thinking about him, and when I see him, I like feel it in my stomach and my heart starts beating sooo fast. And yesterday, I swear it felt like he touched a little bit of my hair when he passed by. I know my hair’s nothing like what he’s used to—beautiful coal hair—but it felt like he took a deep breath as his hand grazed it. Like he was inhaling it. I can’t be looking too much into this, can I? I thought you’re supposed to listen to the signs and how you feel when you see someone. At least, that’s what the few who actually still believe in love think…

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Greedy coals everywhere

August 10, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Today at work, I heard some coals talking about their vacations. They were actually complaining that they could only take two weeks this year. Are they out of their minds? Do they not realize how lucky there are? Pearls don’t even get a full weekend, let alone a vacation. Being the low man on the totem pole has literally zero benefits. It seems that the more people have, the more they want. Whatever! I’ve got work to do anyway. Lots of important work. I’ve got to find my perfect mate, tackle the romantic apocalypse and save the pearls, pretty much at the same time. So let them take their little vacations. I’m sure they’ll be whining the entire time, while I find the adventure romance of a lifetime.

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