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The Exclusivity Factor

September 22, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Since a fundamental part of The Save the Pearls campaign is to help Pearls find the perfect mate and navigate the world of dating and mating, it’s also our mission to provide strategies for creating a successful relationship. Eden Newman had an awesome question for us this week: how do you know if your relationship is exclusive? That’s a question almost everyone faces in their adventure romance, and since we’re not all living in the world of Harlequin romance novels, it takes work to create the young adult romance you’re dreaming of.

After browsing online dating profiles so you can find a mate—the perfect mate, of course, you may date for a period of time and not be sure of your status. Here are some things to look for so that you don’t suddenly find yourself immersed in a romantic apocalypse rather than a young adult fantasy romance.

Getting it together.
After weeks of sorting through online dating profiles and going on dates, you think you’ve found someone cool. Often times, people spend a lot of time interacting online before actually meeting in person—instead make sure you’re going to social activities and events together. Get some quality time in so that you can see if it’s really a fantasy romance in the making.

Getting introduced to the friends.
You can be sure your young adult fantasy romance is headed in the right direction if your date brings you around their friends. It means that they are confident being seen with you if they bring you to parties or their regular hangouts. If their friends knew about you in advance, even better. This factor ranked particularly high with Pearls, but much lower in interracial relationships or those that were in casual, interracial dating situations.

Meeting the Family
One of the most nerve wracking events in any adventure romance is meeting the family. If you’re dating and mating and the one you like introduces you to his family, there’s a good chance they’re taking this seriously. Likewise, a bad interaction with the family can lead to the demise of your young adult romance and place you on the verge of—you guessed it, romantic apocalypse. This factor ranked extremely high with Coals, lower with Pearls, and lowest among interracial relationships. However, it was a major concern for our lovely Eden Newman.

Stylin’ and Profilin’
Has your quest to find a mate been a whirlwind of fantasy romance, the exact stuff of Harlequin romance novels? Do you go out to nice restaurants or are you still meeting up at the club? Do you start the night together or are you just getting a booty call? This isn’t a young adult fantasy novel—it’s reality. Look at how and where you spend your time together and you’ll know whether you’re on the serious track or the friends with benefits path.

Whether you’re interested in interracial dating or learning how to create a young adult fantasy relationship, the Save the Pearls site will give you all the resources you need for this journey.

by eden

Make him chase you…

September 22, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So we’ve been flirting—yes, me and the one. He’s so like subtly sexy, I can’t stand it. He came up to me while I was filing a report and asked a question, but I couldn’t hear a thing. It’s like my senses blended all together. His arm brushed mine and it was straight electricity! I know I must be sounding like one of those old school Harlequin romance novels or young adult fantasy romance books, but whatever! I know what I feel, and it’s the first time I’ve ever had a feeling like that about someone. I wonder if he feels it for me too? I know the whole interracial dating thing might be an obstacle for him, but how could anyone ever resist this? I will play my cards right, even though I don’t have much time. What is it I read in one of those young adult romance advice columns—make him chase you?

by eden

Getting it on paper

September 14, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Things have been quiet lately, but still I feel my romantic apocalypse on my heels. It’s like that feeling you get when you walk into a room and everyone just stops and stares at you in complete silence. It’s quiet, but you know they’re all thinking something—and it’s probably not good. Like everyone I pass knows I’m about to expire. If I don’t find the perfect mate and get that fantasy romance going, then Eden Newman is a thing of the past. The government will secretly come in and take me away. I wonder what they’ll do with my dog? Anyway, I’ve decided to take these last few months and put my story down on paper. The time has come for Revealing Eden. I’m going to get my story out there so that it can maybe help others. I don’t want my life to be a total waste, you know? So I’m working day and night to get it all down—and I mean everything. I’m not hiding a thing. I don’t care what the government does to me if they find out. My clock is ticking anyway, right?

Keeping it as hot as fantasy romance novels

September 14, 2011 in Fantasy romance

When you’re trying to find a mate and the perfect young adult romance (while avoiding the romantic apocalypse), it’s important to accept that it takes work. Dating and mating can be fun, but it’s also a practice that takes thought and effort—especially if you’re looking for the kind of love we read about in fantasy romance novels and young adult fantasy fiction.

When you’re trying to find a mate, it isn’t just about your mate-rate. This is why we’re sharing some tips from dating and mating experts that were shared with Eden Newman on how to create and maintain a with your perfect mate.

It’s important to keep the romance alive and fresh. Remember how exciting it was when you were browsing online dating profiles and “discovered” your current mate? Even the most exciting adventure romance has the potential relationships tend to fizzle out and lose the excitement. No matter what, the honeymoon phase will end and the mature feelings of actually being in love will come along. This is especially difficult because we love that first phase of the young adult romance—it’s a whirlwind of butterflies and the stuff that Harlequin romance novels are made of.

These times are passionate and exciting—you want to spend every minute with your perfect mate, they’re all you can think about and you’re never bored. The concept of romantic apocalypse is unfathomable. Everything is new and fresh, especially if you’re interracial dating. There is so much to learn and experience about the other person! You barely realize it when this phase starts to wane, but it will. What’s most important about keeping this young adult fantasy romance alive is that both partners are fully aware of the fact that this is a phase and just the beginning of a fulfilling relationship, not the end.

You can, however, prolong the honeymoon phase. Start by NOT spending every living, waking moment with each other. Keep doing everything you were doing when you were trying to find a mate, except checking out online dating profiles, lol. Instead of spending every day together, try spending every other day. This gives you the potential to double the length of the honeymoon phase. One, because you’re not spending so much time together and two, because it builds anticipation and makes you miss each other. Believe it or not, a little absence can increase the element of romance in any relationship. If you run out of ideas, check out some fantasy romance novels for some inspiration.

Another critical element of keeping the adventure romance alive is to maintain your life and your friends. Never give up nights out with your girlfriends or bros! This gives you fun things to talk about, keeps you balanced and enriches your life overall. If you have a passion, stick to it! For example, Eden Newman has dedicated her life to the Save the Pearls campaign. If she were to abandon it because she met a guy, we would all have major problems! She would also ultimately lose her man, though, because no one can have all of their partner’s energy directed to them and only them. Again, we’re not saying to go do everything you were dong before, like browsing online profiles or going out and hooking up, but to maintain your passions, hobbies, career, causes and friendships.

Even the most exciting interracial relationships can become routine in real life. Therefore, make a concerted effort to spice things up. Schedule date nights yet be open to spontaneity as well. This is a young adult fantasy romance, not a job—you can change the rules and make things fun whenever you want.

Never stop dating! This is key to keeping the element of young adult fantasy alive in your relationship. Take time to do new things together—this will help you bond with your loved one and maintain your zest for life. If you’re one who is interested in interracial relationships, there may be some different cultural things that you can show each other—definitely the recipe for fun and excitement.

Keep the compliments coming. Women need to feel beautiful and men like to feel manly. Give a heartfelt compliment whenever you can. Be creative and sincere.

Whatever you do, don’t get too comfortable or take your mate for granted—it’s a surefire way to kill your young adult fantasy relationship. Stay tuned to for information on save the pearls and tips on interracial dating, creating online dating profiles and increasing your mate rate.

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