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Tossing out all my fantasy romance novels

June 29, 2012 in Fantasy romance

Source: rantingsonthebay.blogspot.com

I used to be very practical about the whole mating thing. I knew there was potentially a romantic apocalypse in my future, so I approached it all from an unemotional standpoint. But my mom would tell me that love really existed—she swore that it did, even until the day she died. Then I started reading fantasy romance novels, and before I knew it, I was starting to have my own foolish pipe dreams.

This “one” people tell me of, the soul mate everyone dreams of, would have to be another Pearl in my world. No Coal in their right mind is going to settle for a lowly Pearl, let alone be attracted to our stark white skin and bad genes. Even in young adult books, you don’t really read about people from polar opposite classes having an easy time of it—and those books are so fantastical. When they do have a successful relationship, it gives it a whole fairy tale vibe, the whole happily-ever-after ending of fantasy romance novels. But life is never like that.

There was one time when I thought I may have met someone who would be my perfect mate—or like they said back in the day, “the one.” He was from the ruling class and never saw me without Midnight Luster. He told me I was beautiful, but I am not sure if he really meant it. I know how guys can be, especially when they’re from a higher class (which is everyone but me!). But I swear I felt a spark—until the rest of the story turned out to be just like the storyline of a series of post apocalyptic books.

I gave in and let myself surrender into this fantasy. I felt like the protagonist in one of these oh-so-popular young adult books, an empowered woman who is attractive and in charge of her own life and decisions. I stopped listening to that little voice in my head, the one that told me to be cautious and to remember my place in the world. I was on the verge of a romantic apocalypse and anyone could take advantage of my state of mind.

Then it happened. I found that none of it was real. This Coal who I thought was so special was really trying to use me for information about my father’s experiments. He was so convincing, he would have been an award-winning actor back in the old world. I should have known.

For now, I’m tossing all of my fantasy romance novels and replacing them with post apocalyptic books. The more depressing and hopeless, the better. I can relate to their stories and then see that little glimmer of hope at the end and wonder if I have the ability to end up like the protagonists in these books do—maybe not happily ever after, but happy enough. And alive.

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by eden

Heroes in fantasy romance novels

May 19, 2012 in Fantasy romance

Source: loveromancepassion.com

Where can I find a dude like the heroes I read about in fantasy romance novels? Do they really exist?

Yes, I do read fantasy romance novels as a form of escape. Yet I can’t help but compare Jamal to the guys in these novels. Are they just examples just too difficult for a real person to live up to? Even a Coal?

One of my favorite things to do is read urban fantasy books with a love story intertwined. I get to escape into an imaginary setting and witness the characters overcome all sorts of obstacles to find or win the love of their life. The male is always this amazing specimen, who conquers mountains and tumultuous terrain to save the one he loves from a premature demise.

If the writers behind these fantasy romance novels are “writing what they know,” then there had to be real people in their lives who inspired these characters—which means that, at some point in time, there really was some amazing man who came to their rescue or proved to be worth risking everything for.

Even in post apocalyptic books, when there seems like there’s no hope whatsoever, some modern day knight-in-shining-armor comes through, changing the plot forever. Even when the character starts out being a jerk, he undergoes a metamorphosis like no other, and becomes the hero women used to dream of in the Old World.

Where does that leave those of us stuck in reality, where mating is a requirement for survival? Can anyone truly be themselves with the kind of pressure we experience on a daily basis? With the tick-tick-tock of the clock counting down the days to our deadline to mate, how can anyone just relax and let a relationship take its natural course? While it seems easy to be swept off your feet in all the urban fantasy books I read, it just isn’t in the New World.

So while I love to feel a glimmer of hope when the heroine in one of my post apocalyptic books finds the love of her life and escapes her demise, it’s hard to apply it to my own life. It’s like the cherry on a hot fudge sundae, a little extra bit of pure ecstasy awarded after a treacherous struggle for survival. But the sundae will melt, and where does that leave the cherry?

As much as I love to dream, I feel like these heroes are fictional ghosts from the Old World, with little to no place in the one we live in now—except for in fantasy romance novels.

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A life to write fantasy romance novels about

May 11, 2012 in Fantasy romance

Source: lorettalovehuffblog.com

If only I were a Coal. Life would be so different! Obviously, I wouldn’t have to be working so hard to save the Pearls, but I’m talking about much more than that. If I were a Coal, I could call my own shots. My mate rate would be sky high and I’d be able to choose my destiny. I might actually even be able to mate for love—the kind I read about in all my fantasy romance novels.

I probably would never even think about a romantic apocalypse.

It would be so strange and yet amazing to have Coals vying for my attention. No longer would people assume I’m dumb and worthless—they would actually listen to what I have to say. Instead of burying my nose in fantasy romance novels, I’d have friends to hang out with and talk to. The thought of having an actual social life is unbelievable to me.

I could have dreams and desires—some that would even come true. I would have time to think about other things besides mating and survival. Maybe not that much time, but more than I have now. I could read tons of post apocalyptic books and not relate to the characters like I do now.

As great as the life of a Coal would be, I would make sure I didn’t treat people in the classes below me like they were, well, below me. I know most people think that’s impossible, there’s no way I would be sympathetic to the plight of the Pearls—but I would be.

I would even work on the campaign to save the Pearls. I would be an ambassador or a spokesperson, to show all other classes that Pearls are amazing people too.

I would help Pearls find mates so they could avoid a romantic apocalypse. Maybe I could give others hope by sharing ways to have an adventure romance, since I’d be having one to die for myself. I could actually be in a place where I could give others hope. My life would really have actual meaning.

Oh, the things I would do if I were a Coal!

 

What science fiction and fantasy books don’t tell you about love

April 26, 2012 in Apocalypse World, Fantasy romance

It’s 2012 and sources say an apocalypse is imminent. The masses are stockpiling food and supplies, learning hand-to-hand combat and machete skills (waitmaybe that’s just me), and converting their residences into safe houses. If you read science fiction and fantasy books or were one of the many who lined up to see The Hunger Games five times, you probably have some ideas of your own.

Thanks to modern technology, we can get apocalypse survival kits, zombie-annihilating weaponry and potable water systems online. Between The Walking Dead, Zombieland and The Sopranos, we’re overflowing with ideas for fulfilling our most basic needs, and there are hordes of books filled with guidelines and checklists for surviving the worst. There’s even Doomsday Preppers, a reality show that chronicles the lives of otherwise ordinary Americans who are preparing for the end of the world.

Yet is anyone prepared for a whole new level of uncivilization? The lack of socializing alone will probably dehumanize those of us who survive. There won’t be any parties or clubs to go to, sports to watch or any forms of recreation aka debauchery for us to indulge in. At least I’ll never have to go to another bridal shower—that’s an unexpected perk never mentioned in science fiction and fantasy books, even the bestsellers.

More importantly, what will happen to our love lives? How will the single survivors meet people in the same boat? To survive as a species, we’ll have to procreate and that means dating—or at least hooking up. But I doubt that anyone will want to be a single parent in this dark and dangerous world, so it means either forgo sex and stay on the solo mission or only date with commitment in mind.

Source: thebands.biz. A computerized simulation of the Dave Matthews song “When the World Ends"

I’ve never read any fantasy and adventure novels that really prepare you for procreating in a post apocalypse world, let alone dating. If we’re going to do our part in propagating the species, we’ll probably need to lower our standards and have a strategy ready. We’ll have to change expectations, on both a physical and behavioral level—wining and dining will be a thing of the past and manners will fly out the window. No romantic dinner dates or weekend trips—no three date rule. In the kind of world painted in post apocalyptic books, every day is a grind, a constant battle to survive. Dating will be replaced with quickies performed in that rare stolen moment of privacy, after every other basic need is taken care of.

How will women navigate this new terrain—will the advice based on old school principles from crap like The Rules or Why Men Marry Bitches still apply? Should we still use protection, at least in the very beginning? Do we play hard to get or Miss Convenient-and-Super-Available? Since most post apocalyptic books don’t provide dating advice and there’s no proven how-to guide for end of the world relations, it looks like we’re on our own to figure this out. Or maybe we’ll figure out that it’s best to stay on our own.

In most fantasy and adventure books, the romance is a byproduct of the situation or stems from some old school crush. While film producers will invest millions in special effects to make aliens, zombie and natural disasters in movies seem real, the love relationships feel contrived and inauthentic. The heroes and heroines overcome insane odds to enjoy an overly romanticized affair that’s improbably immune to the stress, impending dangers and utter lack of personal hygiene we’ll be enduring on the regular at the end of the world. Love may be blind, but I have a feeling it also needs to be deaf, dumb and beyond unconditional to last in a post apocalypse world.

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Winds of change— signs of fantasy romance or an apocalypse?

April 3, 2012 in Fantasy romance

The winds were CRAZY this weekend! I love how it gets all windy after a storm—it feels very cleansing, like the winds of change are here to get rid of all the baggage and garbage that stands in our way. It’s like it comes to clear a path for us to achieve our dreams and help us find true love, the kind we read about in fantasy romance novels.
Or maybe not—perhaps the winds are actually a sign of an apocalypse. Many post apocalyptic books point to gusting winds foreshadowing natural disasters, alien invasions and other scary stuff. Last year, there were reports that strong winds in Australia caused a waterfall to flow upwards, sparking fears that the dreaded end of the world was on its way. But we’re all still here, and as far as I know, the world has not ended yet.

I’m hoping it’s just what I’ve believed since I was little—the winds will clear all the bad out of our lives and bring something good in its place. Okay, as I read that sentence, I feel like I sound naïve. I’m just trying to believe in something, since all that I know is that the tick tick tock of the clock promises me one thing—absolute doom. That is, unless Jamal agrees to turn our fantasy romance into the real deal and basically saves me.

It’s so weird to think that if we lived in the Old World, none of this would matter. I wouldn’t care about mating—I know that some people didn’t mate until their 30s or even 40s—and some didn’t mate at all! In lots of the post apocalyptic books I’ve read, they talk about all the single people banding together—and they’re of all ages. The only single people in my world are girls under 18 and guys that are under 25.

Even if my father’s experiment really does help save the pearls, what will we be left with? Where would all the people who adapt go and live, and would they be able to mate—or even want to? When I read fantasy romance novels, my one and only vice, it seems like love really comes from a different place, where you can choose what you want to do with your life.

If the winds are a sign of the end, I wonder what we would be left with afterward. Since we’ve already survived the Great Meltdown, I wonder how much else could really be destroyed anyway. Maybe the Uni-Gov would be totally annihilated, and there would be no need to save the pearls any longer—we would all be roaming free, our only focus being surviving out there in the new world. I could see myself hiding in a cave somewhere, with my stash of young adult books, hiding from everyone, only leaving my cave to find Oxy if I ran out. That would be all I needed—I honestly don’t think I’d care about mating.

I guess time will tell. But whenever there’s a wind storm, I eye my little apocalypse survival kit in the corner of my room—it’s got enough Oxy to survive for awhile, a few extra things to wear, some Midnight Luster, and of course, a small stash of young adult books. I think I’d be set. No worrying about whether or not Jamal really has feelings for me or what each day brings as I get closer to my 18th birthday. No friends disappearing, no Uni-Gov breathing down my neck, just peace and quiet in some little cave somewhere. I know it’s a weird dream, but when the days of your life are being counted down, an existence of nothingness sounds perfect.

Source: Godlikeproductions.com

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How Valentine’s Day killed the fantasy romance

February 14, 2012 in Fantasy romance, Romance fantasy novels

I’m kind of hating Valentine’s Day right now. Here I am, forced to find a mate, and there’s this holiday that’s looming over my head, reminding me that my fantasy romance is basically non-existent. It’s impossible to be reminded of it on just the day of either—it’s a full-fledged marketing and advertising attack that goes on for weeks and weeks. The stores stock up on Valentine’s candy, cards and gifts like the minute Christmas is over. Just think, in less than a year we could be immersed in a post apocalypse world where people won’t even remember what this silly holiday was about.

For some people, Valentine’s day is synonymous with fantasy and adventure. For others, it’s a source of anxiety—filled with reminders of being dumped on it, memories of being single on this “day of love,” and a whole set of expectations for those who have found a mate. While it seems that for those who are engaged in a fantasy romance this should be an amazing day, it actually can really cause problems and issues that are not always easy to overcome.

If you avoided a romantic apocalypse and are in a new relationship, you’re probably expecting big things on this day—and chances are, if you’re female, you’re going to get let down. Males just don’t understand the impact their gifts or attention can or cannot have. If you’ve been together for awhile and it’s not your first Valentine’s Day together, you’re expecting the fantasy and adventure that your “better half” brings to surpass the year before by leaps and bounds. Worse yet, what if your mate completely forgets or has to work?

If you are still single and haven’t experienced success with relationships or a fantasy romance despite searching high and low on the Save the Pearls site, then you have an entirely different set of issues on your Valentine’s plate. It’s that reminder that tick, tick tock, if you don’t have a mate, you’ve sealed your fate. You may act out by going out for a night on the town, drinking Jack Daniels and waking up somewhere you really shouldn’t be. Or you may be tempted to stay in with a bottle of wine and a quart of ice cream, determined to finish them both before the night is over. Worst of all, you may be tempted to drunk dial an ex. Talk about a romantic apocalypse in the making.

Whether or not I get some huge display of affection from Jamal, I’m going to take it with a grain of salt. No one should tell us when we should show our love, or if we should feel good or bad about our status; we already have enough pressure to deal with in life. I’m going to look at this so-called holiday as just another checkmark on the checklist of life.

Source: tamyrouxx.tumblr.com/

 

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Valentine’s Day— fantasy and adventure or a romantic apocalypse?

February 9, 2012 in Eden's Posts, Fantasy romance

Valentine’s Day is less than a week away and Jamal still hasn’t made plans with me. I know it’s a little early to be worried about a romantic apocalypse, but I think it’s shady. When you’re in a relationship, whether it’s complicated or not, you would think your boyfriend would be plotting out a night of fantasy romance. I haven’t heard a peep from him about it—for all I know he could be out of town next week.

Either way, it’s got me thinking. When I signed up for this relationship, I thought I’d done more than just find a mate—I truly believed my future would be filled with the kind of love you read about in fantasy and adventure novels. Jamal pledged his undying love and swore that he didn’t care in the least that I’m a Pearl and he’s a Coal. He promised all sorts of things: that my life would no longer be in jeopardy because of my race, that he only wanted to be with me and that our destiny would be filled with nothing but amazing days and nights. Instead, I find myself reading young adult books and wondering why I can’t have the same happy ending as their protagonists.

I feel like I’m in a difficult spot because if I bring it up to him, then I might just be pushing us both into that romantic apocalypse all of us Pearls dread. I don’t want to seem like some gross needy girl, clinging to a fantasy romance like I have nothing else in my life. On the other hand, I also feel like I shouldn’t look at him through rose colored glasses—that my feelings could be masking the truth about his intentions. I have to remember that he’s not a character from one of my favorite fantasy and adventure novels, he’s a real person and has flaws, some that I may not be aware of or that he’s in fact hiding. Now here I am, working day and night to save the Pearls, and I’m worried about speaking my mind to some dude. Yet, he’s not just any dude, he’s a Coal—and that puts us in different leagues, where I’m supposed to be the luckiest girl in the world to have even caught his attention.

If only I lived in the old world, or the ones I read about in young adult books, where people are considered equal and your survival isn’t dependant on if and when you find a mate. A world filled with real love, the kind that feels like pure fantasy and adventure, and sustains itself despite one’s class or race. I wonder if anything like that really ever existed?

Source: Missy Gainer

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Fantasy romance + voodoo

January 27, 2012 in Fantasy romance

One of my favorite Pearls recently found her fantasy romance and mated! I am so happy for her, especially because stories like these are getting less and less common. I hit her up for some advice to share in my blog, and was shocked to find out how she found the one. She went as old school as you could ever imagine—she cast a Voodoo love spell to attract her mate!

This was so not what I was expecting, but I figure I should share it with everyone and let them make their own decision. My only exposure to magic has been through reading young adult books and fantasy romance novels. What she explained is that magic can be “black” or dark, used for the intent of evil, or “white” and good, intended for positive things. This special Pearl created her own young adult fantasy by using a Voodoo spell to attract love and to remove all the obstacles that stood in her way.

Apparently, Voodoo offers a great way to learn about the sacredness of love’s energy. If you’re trying to star in your own young adult fantasy novel that ends with you finding the one, then you need to start with clear intent about what you want. The more specific you are, the better. Ask yourself all sorts of questions, like how do you want to feel, what sort of mate do you want and what is your long term plan? If you already know what obstacles stand in your way (like the color of your skin maybe?) then you can focus on removing them during the spell. Knowing what they are is half the battle.

In all the young adult books and romance fantasy novels that I’ve read, a few contained elements of magic. Until now, I always thought you just said a few words and then your desire came true almost immediately. Apparently in Voodoo, you need to direct your energy to your desire over a period of a few days in an almost prayer-like setting. My friend said it helps to create an altar where you can leave offerings to the “loa,” or Voodoo gods, and any other items that symbolize love to you. These Voodoo entities appreciate things like a little piece of candy or cake, flowers and incense. You will also have candles that you burn during the time you cast your spell.

You then proceed to spend a certain amount of time at the altar every day for nine days, praying or “casting” your spell to attract love to your life. When you’re done, you  bury everything from the altar, including what’s left of the candles.

The whole thing is very interesting. But the bottom line is, it did help her to find her fantasy romance. Maybe it can for all of us. Let me know if anyone else tries this avenue!

Source: Realafricanvoodoo.com

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Her romantic apocalypse = my young adult fantasy romance

September 30, 2011 in Eden's Posts, Fantasy romance

I’m super excited—the boy I’m crushing on slipped a note on my desk today. I saw him do it when I was coming back from my break. Looks like he wants to get some one-on-one time in this weekend. I have no idea what he’s got in store or if he’s just toying with me, but I honestly, my gut tells me it’s going to be rad!! Perhaps it’s my own young adult fantasy romance in the making! I’d just about given up on that ever happening, but maybe this is it. Maybe he’s the one who will save me from my doomed fate. I won’t have to worry about finding a mate through Save the Pearls and I’ll actually experience what my mother always told me about—true love. I never believe it truly existed in this apocalypse world

My co-worker is sooo jealous and keeps trying to ruin my game. I saw her trying to flirt with him earlier today, when I was coming in to work, but he wasn’t even making eye contact with her. Funny, because she’s a Coal just like him, so you’d think he’d be all over that. Just goes to show that he’s not scared of interracial dating at all. Looks like her romantic apocalypse = my young adult fantasy romance.

Not that I don’t want everyone to find their perfect mate–I want everyone to avoid a romantic apocalypse! But she never lets me forget I’m a just a Pearl. She’s mean and conniving and always has something horrible to say. Sometimes I truly think she’s evil. Anyways—she’s whatever and now I’m wondering what this weekend has in store. Time for a mani-pedi and some relaxation time, maybe I’ll read a YA novel or young adult fantasy romance book and put my feet up for a minute.

This Save the Pearls stuff can be a little exhausting.

Keeping it as hot as fantasy romance novels

September 14, 2011 in Fantasy romance

When you’re trying to find a mate and the perfect young adult romance (while avoiding the romantic apocalypse), it’s important to accept that it takes work. Dating and mating can be fun, but it’s also a practice that takes thought and effort—especially if you’re looking for the kind of love we read about in fantasy romance novels and young adult fantasy fiction.

When you’re trying to find a mate, it isn’t just about your mate-rate. This is why we’re sharing some tips from dating and mating experts that were shared with Eden Newman on how to create and maintain a with your perfect mate.

It’s important to keep the romance alive and fresh. Remember how exciting it was when you were browsing online dating profiles and “discovered” your current mate? Even the most exciting adventure romance has the potential relationships tend to fizzle out and lose the excitement. No matter what, the honeymoon phase will end and the mature feelings of actually being in love will come along. This is especially difficult because we love that first phase of the young adult romance—it’s a whirlwind of butterflies and the stuff that Harlequin romance novels are made of.

These times are passionate and exciting—you want to spend every minute with your perfect mate, they’re all you can think about and you’re never bored. The concept of romantic apocalypse is unfathomable. Everything is new and fresh, especially if you’re interracial dating. There is so much to learn and experience about the other person! You barely realize it when this phase starts to wane, but it will. What’s most important about keeping this young adult fantasy romance alive is that both partners are fully aware of the fact that this is a phase and just the beginning of a fulfilling relationship, not the end.

You can, however, prolong the honeymoon phase. Start by NOT spending every living, waking moment with each other. Keep doing everything you were doing when you were trying to find a mate, except checking out online dating profiles, lol. Instead of spending every day together, try spending every other day. This gives you the potential to double the length of the honeymoon phase. One, because you’re not spending so much time together and two, because it builds anticipation and makes you miss each other. Believe it or not, a little absence can increase the element of romance in any relationship. If you run out of ideas, check out some fantasy romance novels for some inspiration.

Another critical element of keeping the adventure romance alive is to maintain your life and your friends. Never give up nights out with your girlfriends or bros! This gives you fun things to talk about, keeps you balanced and enriches your life overall. If you have a passion, stick to it! For example, Eden Newman has dedicated her life to the Save the Pearls campaign. If she were to abandon it because she met a guy, we would all have major problems! She would also ultimately lose her man, though, because no one can have all of their partner’s energy directed to them and only them. Again, we’re not saying to go do everything you were dong before, like browsing online profiles or going out and hooking up, but to maintain your passions, hobbies, career, causes and friendships.

Even the most exciting interracial relationships can become routine in real life. Therefore, make a concerted effort to spice things up. Schedule date nights yet be open to spontaneity as well. This is a young adult fantasy romance, not a job—you can change the rules and make things fun whenever you want.

Never stop dating! This is key to keeping the element of young adult fantasy alive in your relationship. Take time to do new things together—this will help you bond with your loved one and maintain your zest for life. If you’re one who is interested in interracial relationships, there may be some different cultural things that you can show each other—definitely the recipe for fun and excitement.

Keep the compliments coming. Women need to feel beautiful and men like to feel manly. Give a heartfelt compliment whenever you can. Be creative and sincere.

Whatever you do, don’t get too comfortable or take your mate for granted—it’s a surefire way to kill your young adult fantasy relationship. Stay tuned to for information on save the pearls and tips on interracial dating, creating online dating profiles and increasing your mate rate.

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